Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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