ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
