everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
