Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
