Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
