We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Randomize
