i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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