Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
