I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dick very happy bro
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
