Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
