He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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