btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
