Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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