YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
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