In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
