I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
