she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
