I feel great
I just peed on a car
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
