Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
