he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
How's work?
Spinning.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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