New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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