is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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