Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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