I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
