So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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