I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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