Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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