We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Randomize
