They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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