My nipple is on Facebook.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
