Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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