It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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