I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
