YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
