I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
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She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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