He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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