i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
