dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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