I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
