I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
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I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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