You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
