Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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