I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
