OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
