We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
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Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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