I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
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So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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