spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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