Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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