i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
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I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
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Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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