I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
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I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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