Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
