i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
