oh god the rape fog is back!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
