My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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