Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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