Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
