im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize