I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
